I think I died a long time ago.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
