bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Randomize
