I can tuck mytits in my pants
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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