Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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