We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
