HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
