went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
