I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
