Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
