never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
