Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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