4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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