I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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