can u get pink eye on your cock?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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