this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
