He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I understand Curling. That high.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
