She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize
