I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
