Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
