Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
