I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
