I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize