I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
