How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
