I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
