She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
he shaved USA in his pubs
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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