I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
