Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
