A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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