What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
