it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
