Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Go christen that room with your naked body.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize