I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
