Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I could make wine with my vomit
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize