My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
The ass gains better be worth it
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