I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
