I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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