I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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