I accidentally burped into my bong.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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