So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize