24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
