tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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