I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
