I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
