Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize