He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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