i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
