i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Farmville is her only friend.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
