you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
