u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
