Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
