I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
