two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
