either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
