Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
