she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
