i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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