I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
