Your tits are I can't wait for
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
