Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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